Dieting

So, not only am I anxious about life in general, my career etc, I'm also anxious about how I look. Society, standards, you know the drill. I'm trying to slim it down a little for an upcoming overseas trip in which there will be a lot of swimming. I am currently residing in the Canberra winter which makes you (read: me) pack on fat like a walrus. I tried to "diet" last night by switching a more filling meal to delicious pumpkin soup (homemade from scratch - I was really trying hard to convince myself to do this). It was great. Then I had a glass of wine, and a bowl of pasta.

Mission fail.

Back to it

My stay-cation was very difficult. I have such a hard time relaxing, it's ridiculous. It was the worst around day 3, I felt like I should go back to work or start a new project. It was just so hard to sit there and do something fun for myself or to try and take some time to look after my mental well-being.

I am now back at work and after a week there, I realised that I was more productive all week, I had greater focus and I felt a lot better.

My week off also coincided with my first week fully off the medication and that helped a lot. The side effects were pretty bad the first week and not much better the second week, but they're easing up now. All of a sudden I'll feel hijacked by an emotion and I will be utterly confused as to where it came from and I'll have to work through it until it subsides.

Time for ME

I have a week off!!! I have finally and blessedly taken a week off to do some things I've been planing to do. Like look for houses and decorate my house and relax. I am SO EXCITED! I have never realy done this. Every holiday has been about my family or going places.

I am having a staycation. And it feels glorious.

Another Snippet

He screamed against the wicked world until his lungs breathed fire. His eyes flooded with torrents of tears until the rivers and streams of his land overflowed. He cried out in despair until his breath created tornadoes that whipped across the fields. Hundreds died and thousands were left broken in the anguish he suffered.

He had lost her, lost her forever, and his heart could not bear each beat it took without her. Nothing could change something so final and absolute. There was no life without her.