Apparently change takes some time. I am still job searching. It's not the most fun I've ever had. But to compensate for my frustration in my lack of progress I've joined the gym to change my fitness and perspective.
I forgot how much I love gyms.
I've been avoiding them for a year to make sure that I really missed them and that I actually wanted to go back and not just do something more fun, like dance. Turns out private dance lessons are expensive; FUN, but expensive. And since I'm saving my sweet little ass off in the hopes of building up a decent deposit for my house, the gym is an easier option.
I feel happier, motivated, inspired and lighter. I feel fitter already. I feel like a million dollars. I think, at least for now, that I need this. It is becoming essential to me. I am so addicted. I have to pace myself though. I only went 3 times last week. I wanted to go more and was disappointed when I had other commitments. I'm relaxing this weekend though. I need to. I had such a huge week.
The balance is coming back little by little.
In saying all that, I also cried last week. I had a few moments where I wasn't sure if I was going to make it through that day. But it's better than it was, even if only a little. And that is enough for me.
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